<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>the beautiful ones by attheborder</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345217">the beautiful ones</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/attheborder/pseuds/attheborder'>attheborder</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Terror (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Oral History, Unreliable Narrator, meet me in the seat of ease</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:00:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/attheborder/pseuds/attheborder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>JAMES FITZJAMES: Listen, it’s all in the past. Emotions were high, that night. Francis and I, you know we’re as close as anyone could be these days. I don’t think it really matters, what exactly was said, or why.</p><p>FRANCIS CROZIER: It’s complicated. And like I said, I don’t remember a damn thing. But back then, that tour… well, you remember. James was the pretty one. And he wrote the lyrics, the ones everyone swooned over. People who didn’t know us well assumed he was the singer, ‘cos why would the weird looking one be up front, right?</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Selected excerpts from the collected oral history of the legendary Britpop band Expedition.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Captain Francis Crozier/Commander James Fitzjames</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the beautiful ones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>me: maybe some canon era? maybe some pornography? please???</p><p>my brain: no canon era. only weird entertainment industry modern AUs. T-rated. because fuck you is why.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE:</b> We were twenty minutes past our set time at that point, but Francis could hardly walk, let alone play guitar or sing. I didn’t know what we were going to do. Then one of the label guys came back with some pills and who the fuck knows what was in them but somehow, we got him to take them.</p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER:</b> When you talk to James about it he’ll probably spout some shite comparing us to the Beatles, the conceited arse. But aye, it was bad.</p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES:</b> It was like the Beatles losing Epstein, mate. I was lost, we were all lost. Blanky, you know he’d been playing with Francis since the JCR days and he’d never seen him that bad. When your manager, the one who plucked you from obscurity, signed you, devoted his life to making you the biggest thing in the country, suddenly drops dead, of course that’s going to be a massive blow.</p><p><b>TOM BLANKY:</b> The fans were starting to get rowdy, we could hear them from the green room. We knew we had to play.</p><p><b>THOMAS JOPSON:</b> As much as I love being a singer in my own right, those days I spent as a guitar tech were some of the best days of my life. And some of the most insane. It definitely peaked with the fight. I still get people asking me about it, at my own meet-and-greets— “what really happened?” Well, honestly there’s not that much to it. All those conspiracy theories of it being a lover’s quarrel or whatever— it’s bullshit, I promise. We were all just really upset about John, and they took it out on each other.</p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER:</b> I don’t remember a damn thing, to tell you the truth. I’ve seen the photos, though. Christ, I looked a wreck.</p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES:</b> Somehow Francis managed to look incredible, despite being beyond strung out. That’s the mark of a true rock star.</p><p><b>HARRY GOODSIR:</b> Honestly, none of us from the label thought they should’ve been playing so soon after what happened to Franklin. We should have pushed them harder to cancel, but you know Expedition— at the end of the day, they cared about the fans so much. They’d never have let them down after coming that far.</p><p><b>LADY SILENCE:</b> I extended my opening set by as long as I could, I realized what was going on, but I was so new to it at that point I didn’t know enough songs to keep going!</p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE:</b> The pills started kicking in and we got Francis standing. We practically shoved the Strat into his hands and carried him onstage.</p><p><b>TOM HARTNELL:</b> I was front row. I saw it all go down. I wish I’d had a video camera, but you know what they were like back in the 90s, massive buggers, no way I could’ve afforded one. But I remember it perfectly. They were in the middle of “The Passage,” and Francis was doing his solo, and he walked over to James like he usually did, they’d usually go back to back, you know, riffing off each other, but this time Francis just leaned in, got their faces real close as they played, started whispering something to him, right in his ear. My brother actually said to me, “are they about to start snogging?”</p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES:</b> Listen, it’s all in the past. Emotions were high, that night. Francis and I, you know we’re as close as anyone could be these days. I don’t think it really matters, what exactly was said, or why.</p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER:</b> It’s complicated. And like I said, I don’t remember a damn thing. But back then, that tour… well, you remember. James was the pretty one. And he wrote the lyrics, the ones everyone swooned over. People who didn’t know us well assumed he was the singer, ‘cos why would the weird looking one be up front, right?</p><p><b>TOM HARTNELL:</b> It came out of nowhere, really. James was saying something back, looking kind of cocky about it, and then Francis took his hands off his guitar and just— socked him in the face.</p><p><b>THOMAS JOPSON:</b> I almost ran on to stop him. I wonder what would've happened if I had.</p><p><b>TOM BLANKY:</b> I keep the rhythm. That’s what I do. I knew if they were going to insist on having their bloody lover’s quarrel right out there on the stage, then the only thing I could do was play on.</p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE:</b> Me and Tom, we kept it locked in until Francis got ahold of himself, and finished off the song. Then he ran offstage.</p><p><b>TOM HARTNELL:</b> They’d only done thirty minutes at that point. We wanted our fucking money’s worth. We started to chant, <em> Aurora! Aurora! </em> How were we gonna come all this way and not hear Expedition play “Aurora?”</p><p><b>THOMAS JOPSON:</b> James came to the side of the stage, his nose dripping blood, and I thought he was going to go chase after Francis, drag him back on, and I was about to have to stand in his way, tell him, <em> absolutely not, he’s in no fit shape to keep playing. </em> But instead he just pointed at the guitar rack next to me, with Francis’ backup Tele sitting all tuned up and ready to go.</p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES:</b> And I asked him— “Do you know all of the lyrics to Aurora?”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>TOM BLANKY: </b>Two souls like that, it’s never gonna be easy. All the raw talent, rubbing up against itself, making it rawer, yeah? That’s what made the music so fucking good. Everyone knows that. But that’s also what made it hell sometimes.</p><p><b>LADY SILENCE: </b> You’d see the way that they looked at each other, and wonder … what is going <em> on </em> there? It was above my pay grade as the opening act, that’s for sure. </p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE: </b>I was surprised as anyone the day after the fight when Francis called us all together, told us we ought to call off the tour, and even more surprised when James agreed with him. </p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER: </b>It had been a long time coming. I woke up the next morning, broken glass behind the eyes, and James’ blood dried on my knuckles. </p><p><b>HARRY GOODSIR: </b>They cancelled the rest of the tour, but they wanted to go back in the studio instead, so we set up two weeks with John Irving for them. </p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER: </b>It was a good a place to dry out as any. He ran the place like a fucking monastery. </p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES: </b> Made us <em> take breaks </em> to <em> go on walks, </em>I’d never met a producer like him! Had us all drinking this disgusting green juice. Blanky and Thomas had to tag-team it, getting Francis to choke it down, but I don’t think he would’ve made it without that stuff. </p><p><b>TOM BLANKY: </b>I’d track my drum overdubs, check that Francis was still alive and remembered what a guitar was, and then go fling myself at this bloody great climbing wall Irving had out in the garden. </p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE: </b>He was…  odd.</p><p><b>TOM BLANKY: </b>It was all very zen. Well, except for the day he caught two of his engineers going at it in the gear storage and spent an hour chewing them out.</p><p><b>BILLY GIBSON: </b>I’ll always be grateful to John for giving me my start in music production. Working with Expedition was incredibly inspiring. </p><p><b>JOHN IRVING: </b>People always ask me, how did you produce the best Expedition album of the decade in two weeks, on short notice, all while the lead singer was detoxing. I just tell them, I kept it simple. No distractions. No drinking, no drugs allowed in the studio. I had a library in the control room, a big bookcase, and I encouraged them to read when they weren’t tracking. </p><p><b>BILLY GIBSON: </b> I’m sure John will be modest and tell you that <em> Beset </em>came out the way it did because of his philosophy, or his discipline. But the fact is, he’s a fucking amazing producer, and on top of that, the new songs the band was bringing in were brilliant.</p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES: </b> I was honest. That’s all it was. I said  <em> fuck it </em> to pretension, pastiche, all those devices I overused on <em> Greenhithe, </em>thinking that’s what real art was. All I was, was honest. With myself, and with Francis. He’d given up enough— now it was my turn. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>*** </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER: </b>The label kept suggesting people, but we couldn’t sign with a new manager right away, it was still too soon after we lost John. </p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE: </b>It was… I don’t think I’d even realized how much work John had done for us, until I took over the job myself. I thought it’d be easy, which is fucking hilarious in retrospect. </p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES: </b>He would walk around the studio with two phones in his hands, this massive scheduling binder under his arm, and a look on his face like he was being led to the guillotine. </p><p><b>THOMAS JOPSON: </b>Ned got so stressed he forgot to shave. Ended up with a massive beard. Honestly, I kind of wish he’d kept it. </p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE: </b> I can’t imagine how lucky kids have it these days, starting out in management. The assistants at my company are all email this, DM that— everything’s so easy. No, I was buried underneath a sea of actual physical paper, and tied up in phone cords 24/7. That’s <em> real </em>management.</p><p><b>TOM BLANKY: </b>I may have helped tape the phone to his head at one point so he could shout at the label and practice his solos at the same time. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><b>SOPHIA CRACROFT: </b>We’d been broken up for about half a year at that point. Stephen Stanley, my editor, hadn’t even known we’d been together— if he had, he might’ve reassigned my reviews, which I’d’ve never stood for. Honest to god, I was still Expedition’s biggest fan, despite everything.  </p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER: </b>I think I’d told her— in the heat of one of our rows— that I never wanted to see her at any of our shows again. </p><p><b>SOPHIA CRACROFT: </b>I kept going to see them play. I’d come in after they’d started, and stand in the back. A couple times Ned or James caught sight of me and would just nod, and I trusted them not to tell Francis. And yes, I was there for the fight.  </p><p><b>STEPHEN STANLEY: </b>Listen, I’m in the journalism business. A story is a story. I still regret not splashing it across the front cover, it would’ve been our best-selling issue of the year by far. Especially after everything with Fitzjames and that Barrow kid. But Sophia was… resistant.</p><p><b>SOPHIA CRACROFT: </b> I’d broken up with him, but I— well, I still loved him, and I just couldn’t do that to him. It was his business. <em> Their </em>business, him and James. Stanley very nearly fired me, I’m sure, but I knew he’d never have been able to let me go, not with my family connections. I’m glad I had that leverage.</p><p><b>TOM HARTNELL: </b> When the first single from <em> Beset </em> came out, “Worst Kind,” I knew it was about that night. I mean, those lyrics, it was plain as day. And even more obvious than that, was the fact that it was a love song. No <em> real </em> Expedition fan believed the cock-and-bull PR stories James spouted in the press about it being “from a fictional perspective.” At least, none of us that were there, and had actually seen what happened. Francis was singing lyrics that James had written, about him, about being in love with him. How could anyone compete with that level of emotion? No wonder it went number one and stayed there.</p><p><b>STEPHEN STANLEY: </b>For the release of the record we did a massive photoshoot, and Sophia wrote the accompanying profile, her biggest feature yet. </p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES: </b>Oh, that photo shoot. What a day. They took us out to Greenwich, put us on one of those big historic tall ships, dressed us up half like old time sailors, half like models. Tricorn hats with ripped t-shirts, that sort of thing. </p><p><b>FRANCIS CROZIER: </b>We all cut quite the figure. I wish I could remember whose idea it all was, so I could thank them. James in that big coat, my God— I tried to convince them to let him take it home, so he could wear it out on tour, but nobody was having any of it. A damn shame.</p><p><b>TOM BLANKY: </b>We looked marvelous. Except Ned, who looked like a berk. </p><p><b>EDWARD LITTLE: </b>I looked like a berk.</p><p><b>SOPHIA CRACROFT: </b>The big two-page spread, with the full-sized photo of all four of them posing the deck of the ship— I got them all to sign it, when it was printed, and I still have it framed above my desk so many years later. </p><p><b>JAMES FITZJAMES: </b>Such a great shoot. I was so fond of it, I actually ended up requesting some of the outtakes, had them sent right to me, for my own collection. </p><p><b>SOPHIA CRACROFT: </b>I was walking past the photo editor’s desk when I saw one of the pictures she was considering for the spread. It looked like something snapped in a down moment, when they didn’t know they were being shot. It was just of Francis and James, all dressed up in their maritime kits.</p><p>And Francis had an arm around James, and was dipping him like a dance partner, like that famous V-Day Kiss photo, though their faces weren’t quite touching. They were close, though. Something unheard passing between them. The precise opposite, I thought, of that moment onstage, before the fight. </p><p>I said to the photo editor, “Maybe don’t include that one. Not quite the look we’re going for.”  </p><p>She agreed, and chose a different photo for that spot in the spread. </p><p>I don’t know who else saw that photo, if anyone. I never saw it again, after that day. But that’s what Expedition is to me, you know. The pauses in between the chords. The quiet moments you don’t see, that underlie all the loudest ones you do. All those secrets, spoken plain. I can’t say what’s true or not, you know, that’s not my responsibility. All I can say is, a song like “Worst Kind,” a record like <em> Beset, </em>a band like Expedition— it’s all freely given to us, the fans, to make what we will of it all. And that’s the joy of it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> __ </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> I dare you to be the worst kind<br/></em> <em> I dare you to ask for what you’re due<br/></em> <em> I can’t stand you, but you need to<br/></em> <em> Take us home, I can take it from you </em></p><p><em> I dare you to be a nightmare<br/></em> <em> I’ll hold you even when you are<br/></em> <em> No one knows me, you’re the only<br/></em> <em> Hand on the throat of my heart </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm yelling about the terror on <a href="http://areyougonnabe.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> &amp; <a href="http://twitter.com/areyougonnabe">twitter!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>